Where to Start? You Just Got Engaged — Now What?

Getting engaged is one of those life moments that feels surreal in the best way… and also somehow immediately overwhelming. One minute you’re floating, the next minute you’re getting texts asking “Have you picked a date yet?” and suddenly the word wedding feels very loud.

If you’re wondering where do I even start? — you’re not behind. You’re normal. And you’re not supposed to have it all figured out yet. 

Let’s slow it down.

Step one: do absolutely nothing (for a minute)

Before you open Pinterest, before you start spreadsheets, before you feel pressure to make decisions — pause.

This season is allowed to be sweet. You’re allowed to enjoy being engaged without immediately turning it into a project. Go out to dinner. Pop some champagne. Call your people. Celebrate with loved ones. Let yourself feel excited before you feel productive.

Wedding planning will come. I promise.

Step two: talk to your partner — just the two of you

This is the part people skip, and honestly? It’s the most important.

Before you worry about venues or colors or guest lists, have a real conversation about:

• What do we want this day to feel like?

• Big celebration or intimate gathering?

• Traditional, non-traditional, or somewhere in between?

• What actually matters to us? 

This isn’t about decisions, it’s about alignment. When you know what you both care about, every choice later becomes easier (and way less emotional). 

One thing that seems obvious but somehow gets skipped over is this: your wedding is about you two. Everyone is coming together to celebrate your love and the life you’re choosing to build side by side. That’s why, even when planning feels stressful, it should still feel personal and meaningful. People will have opinions, some louder than others, but what matters most is that the day reflects what you and your partner truly want

Step three: decide what kind of bride you want to be

This might sound silly, but stay with me.

Do you want to be:

• Super organized and ahead of everything?

• Go-with-the-flow and flexible?

• Somewhere in the middle? 

There’s no “right” way. The best wedding planning experience is the one that fits you, not the one Instagram makes you think you should have. Give yourself permission to plan in a way that feels supportive, not stressful. 

There is a lot of information out there that outlines exactly what you must do for a wedding. Get an officiant, order a cake, what time your ceremony should be at, bleh bleh bleh. I'm here to tell you that the only right answer to this process is what aligns with your vision. There is not a right or wrong way to plan your special day. Include aspects that feel personable to you and the life you are building. If you love board games, add a game table to your reception. If you are a huge heavy metal fan, blast your favorite song as your walk down the aisle. If you think bouquet and garter tosses are a thing of the past, leave that part of the night out. Picture this like a completely customizable video game, anything (within reason) you want goes. 

While a wedding is a chance to celebrate with all your loved ones, it is also a chance to bring them into your world for a day.  

Step four: gently start dreaming

Now — now — Pinterest can come in.

You don't have to plan everything. Nothing is set in stone. Just have some fun and create a Pinterest board that makes you smile. Start noticing the patterns:

• What photos make you stop scrolling?

• What colors keep popping up?

• What kind of weddings feel like home to you?

• What vibes do you align with? 

You’re not committing to anything yet. You’re just collecting feelings.

Step five: talk about budget (even if it’s awkward)

I won’t sugarcoat this one — it’s not the most romantic conversation, but it is a grounding one.

You don’t need exact numbers right away. You just need a general understanding of:

• What feels comfortable?

• What feels stressful?

• What are your non-negotiables?

Think of the budget as a tool, not a limitation. It helps guide decisions so you’re not constantly second-guessing yourself later. 

Again, this is 100% your day. Find a budget and structure that works for you and does not make things stressful. It's overwhelming once you start getting quotes in and everything begins to add up, however it doesn't always have to be. 

DIY decor and crafts are a great way to keep the cost down while also personalizing your wedding to reflect your Pinterest board. This is also a great way to get your bridal shower involved, who doesn't love a girls craft night?

Step six: remember this is your wedding

You’re going to hear opinions. Lots of them. From people who mean well. From people who had a wedding once. From people who think they know what you should want.

Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t.

You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to break “rules.” You’re allowed to create a day that reflects your relationship — not a checklist.

And when it starts to feel overwhelming (because it will, at some point), come back to this truth:
You’re marrying your person. Everything else is just details.

You don’t need to have it all figured out today. You just got engaged. This is the beginning — not a race.

And if you ever need a reminder, advice, or someone to say “you’re doing great” — that’s what this space is for 🤍